January resolutions often draw envy or eye-rolls. When we wait to make a change or challenge ourselves to set new expectations, we simply rationalize delay, using hope as an excuse. In a world overwhelmed by conflict, mediators hold answers that benefit and serve parties as well as the communities around them.

In a huddle of friends and allies, I recently lamented the state of affairs and the failure of local leadership. Skillfully, I described issues our community is facing while reaching the conclusion that battles are everywhere around us. At a climax moment, I said, “I can’t fight every battle for everyone.” My wise friend paused, looked me dead in the eyes and said, “Just fight more battles.” 

That challenge placed a pebble in my shoe, and by reading this post, I hope to do the same to you. Below are a few unconventional resolutions challenging all of us with a certain set of skills to do one thing better: engage.

Resolution 1: Commit time and presence to local civic life. 

Not as an advocate for outcomes, but as a steward of process. Serve on boards or commissions, attend public meetings, volunteer in community organizations or help design forums where disagreement can be expressed productively. Bring the disciplines of listening, framing, dignity and problem-solving into spaces that often lack them.

The practice of mediation is strengthened when mediators stay connected to people, institutions and consequences. Civic engagement sharpens judgment, deepens empathy and grounds mediators in the lived realities behind abstract disputes. It also models a quieter form of leadership, one that lowers the temperature, builds trust and reminds communities that disagreement does not have to mean dysfunction.

In a time when public discourse is increasingly brittle, mediators have a unique opportunity and responsibility to help local institutions function better before conflict leads to litigation or worse. That kind of service doesn’t just improve communities; it makes us better mediators.

Resolution 2: Resolve to earn the right to go to the edge, and be an architect.

In the current market, mediators are sometimes reduced to referee status or discovery tools. We are seen as part of the process, not the genuine opportunity for resolution or maybe even reconciliation. The root of conflict often lives where parties least want to look. Every mediation has an architecture. We have the opportunity to design a process for individual parties. We are invited into spaces where trust is a powerful tool. When we are willing to push into those places and in some cases create uncomfortable collisions, breakthroughs are possible. When we stick to the script, the outcomes are predictably unsatisfying.

Before each mediation, and after all discussions and preparation, break the mold and figure out the right process for these individual parties, their attorneys, and this specific dispute. Contemplate intentionally: What must be different in this room for agreement to become not just psychologically possible, but likely?

Resolution 3: Resolve to replace “pressure” with “dignity.”

We know who we are when we step into the role of “forceful mediator.” Some parties need it, but sometimes it is just lazy. Intimidation may produce a number, but it rarely produces a durable peace for the parties involved. Resolve to contemplate: What face-saving path can we create that still respects reality?

It may take more time, but the value is often found in more peaceful sleep for the parties who retain autonomy and own the results in a more significant way. It is often more effective to make offers easier to accept than harder to reject. 

Resolution 4: Resolve to steward trust as something sacred.

Trust isn’t created in the room; it arrives with you. It’s shaped by preparation calls, confidentiality discipline, consistency and humility. Once lost, it rarely returns. Make your credibility visible: clearer pre-mediation expectations, tighter confidentiality language, better preparation calls, and a debrief and follow-up discipline that improves your craft and keeps you curious. 

At its best, mediation is not about winning arguments or closing files. It is about helping people move from conflict toward resolution with honesty, restraint and respect. That kind of work demands intention. A quiet, ancient kind of wisdom sits underneath all of this: The mediator’s power is mostly moral. It’s earned through humility, steadiness, truthfulness and a commitment to serve people well when they’re at their worst. Make that your resolution, and positive outcomes will follow.

That is a resolution worth keeping in 2026!